twilight zone

Guess what sort of person I am. Do I love going with the flow, taking life as it comes, or do I thrive on order and planning?

As a little girl dad remembers me enjoying making sure all the pink plastic cups and saucers precisely lined up with my little table. This was more important to me than the actual tea party game.

This is still somewhat the case, which is a shame. Order should serve a goal of being and doing wonderful/ or boring but needed things. It should not be the goal.

I wonder if this is why I am finding this final holiday before the onslaught of med so difficult. I feel more tired and stressed than when I was working!

The key issue is that there are so many unknowns about next year. I want my questions answered. Then I can plan and have everything settled. Perhaps then I could relax. However I have an inkling that once everything is set in stone, I'll focus on what things to bring with me, how to budget for med, etc etc.

This temperament is a real asset for getting ready for med, but it is so annoying with holidays.

So from now on I'm letting go (apart from checking up on vaccinations and my GP sign off for med). I am DECIDING TO REST. I am resting so that I am at my optimal to study med and become a great doctor.

I'll rest by watching House, by knitting, by bush walking, by cooking, by sipping coffee and watch the kookaburras that love my gate, by reading and by sleeping in.

Within this resting I'll say goodbye. I'll have final coffees with friends, I'll have my 'dress up as your favourite medical condition party', I'll wear my 'heaps good' tee shirt with a map of SA on it. So far I have visited the pandas at the zoo, been in a hot air balloon ride over the Murray river and gone to Haighs. What a joy to finally realise  that I love sleepy Adelaide!