My housemate decided one day she could out do me- both in the cooking with no dishes and being overly excited. Somehow she managed to make mayonnaise inside the egg while only dirtying a teaspoon. Hahaha she makes me laugh.
There are some things I don't like about medicine (only a few).
I hate it that medicine can act as a barrier with people. Friends who used to think I was normal now think I am incredibly smart (I'm not) and newly met people regularly say 'wow' and then awkwardly walk away. In response to this I unintentionally ramble on about all the silly things I do. Basically say anything to disperse any wrong ideas about my greatness. Oooh and many of my med friends who are girls find that guys are immediately threatened when they find out they're studying medicine. Sometimes I just want to tell people that I'm an OT (nobody really knows what it is, but most people find it to be a satisfactory answer and let me continue with a normal conversation). Perhaps I should just treat med like any other course and normalise it. If I don't act strange then maybe others won't either.
Do you have some movies that you watch again and again- finding yourself identifying with a certain character? The last movie Granny took me to see as a special treat (just her and me) was Little Women. I was 9 and incredibly embarrassed by the tame kissing scene and the fact that I cried when one of the main characters died. Over the years I've always seen myself to be like Beth (the girl who died). She was quiet, phlegmatic, shy and too cautious. It was a shock to watch it for the first time in 10 years and find myself frustrated by her and identifying with her older, adventurous, stubborn, outspoken, volatile sister Jo. Jo doggedly pursues her dream of writing, moving away from home at a time when girls ought to stay home and have babies. At first I was terrified. Has med really changed me so much that I am no longer a 'sweet, quiet, other centred OT'? I began watching myself in PBL. I noticed that I would speak up if I thought others were wrong, even if no one else agreed with me. I no longer sit passively back, but am quite happy to jump in and argue. Friends have noticed that I now take the lead and my family say that I am more decisive. Truth be told I love being more like Jo. Life is more fun and less tame. I think med has forced me to grow up and stop hiding behind shyness and fear of what others think. This is good, but a person newly freed from shackles still needs some restraint. I'm hoping that, with time I'll learn to use my new freedom like a sword, guided by my OT values. This would be better than my random flailing movements!
I leave you with a photo of a scarf I just finished (it's made of lots of little stars) and my desk duck and cat. The duck has been a resident of my desk for many years now to remind myself of who I'm studying for (it looks so vulnerable and I'm sure many patients feel vulnerable). My housemates gave me the cat as a birthday present. It is a lovely wind back toy which is a good outlet when I'm sick of sitting at my desk all day. I love how the duck appears to be looking worriedly at the cat! At the risk of taking symbolism too far- I think doctors are like cats. They appear to be self determining, confident, and equally good at comforting or harming. Maybe the cat can help me remember to hold onto OT values, which will lessen any harm I may cause in the future.
ps. Exams will be done and dusted in 6 weeks. The amount we must revise by then is phenomenal. I am scared.
ps. Exams will be done and dusted in 6 weeks. The amount we must revise by then is phenomenal. I am scared.
