The dream finally comes true
On the 13th of October, at 2:03pm I received a phone call from my brother saying that THE LETTER had arrived. 'Open it' I demanded. 'Dear Annabel, welcome to the school of...' he began. 'Please, please just say it, yes or no' I begged. The answer was yes.
So here I sit drinking coffee, eating baci chocolate, absorbing the fact that next year I will be studying medicine in Perth.
The dream in the making
I've wanted to be a doctor on and off for years. When I was five, my cousin and I would race up and down the corridor with my white pram full of 'critically wounded' toys. Screeching the makeshift ambulance to a halt my bedroom became the hospital and my fireplace the operating theatre. We had an amazing time inventing and curing all sorts of obscure conditions.
Later I went to hospital myself and I was very scared. Hospitals smell. Hospitals are full of flashing lights and irritating beeps. Usually going to hospital means something unpleasant is about to take place. Mum said something, that at the time annoyed me greatly. 'Annabel, it's not that bad. Don't focus on the pain. This a chance to learn and see some fascinating things about the human body.' This idea rooted deeply in my mind and is a core reason why I love the idea of being a doctor.
After years of dissecting a fish's eye at home and a cow's eye at school and studying family members' medical results my time came. My supervisor for one of my final OT pracs sent me off to watch several operations on the upper limb. The surgeon said his assistant doctor was busy and that I was to assist him. I laughed. He handed me a gown and taught me how to scrub up. Still thinking he was joking I played along, laughing. It was only when I found myself sitting opposite him holding the skin on the patient's hand apart, that I realised he wasn't joking. He then asked me to hammer in a new joint into the hand. I was in heaven, I was hooked, I was alive like never before, I had to become a doctor.
Counting the cost
Needless to say the consequent study to pass the GAMSAT and interview paid off. PHEW!!!!
After a month of bliss, the whisper in my head has become a shout ' count the cost'. To be honest I don't want to. I want to remain blindly ecstatic. It's no good though. Med costs a lot, and I am grieving. Hence here is my letter to all that has been.
Dear Has Been,
I love you.
I love eating dinner with my family every night.
I love my pretty room full of novels and recipe books.
I love driving in the hills in Autumn.
I love spending hours playing speed and take two with Chel and Jo.
I love knitting and watching chick flicks with Ash while her kitten plays with my ball of yarn.
I love spending ages carefully selecting food at the bakery with Naomi.
I love discussing medical things with Mel.
I love going to Bracegirdles with my cousins.
There are so many people I love and will miss just being with them.
Perhaps what I shall miss most is having time to just sit and be.
Oh and I'll miss sleep!
So thank you Has Been, for all that you are.
I hope that someday you'll visit Will Be.
Love Me.
